Like sand through an hour glass.. so are the days of our lives....

Well, we made it through the holidays safe and somewhat sound. I hope everyone had a wonderful christmas and is looking forward to the new year. I couldn't have asked for a better christmas. Everyone was happy, kids were happy, family was happy, no arguments, no drama anywhere. So nice!  We had a white Christmas for the first time since 1947 here in NC. The snow was definately the icing on the cake for a perfect christmas. I spent alot of time with family. Got a little tipsy Christmas night....OK, ALOT tipsy...and had a great time "playing" in the snow. FYI, my brother-in-law is a bad influence hahahaha ;).  We took some great pictures and I will share a few.......

So I'm excited about the new year, I guess. I mean this would be the first year I don't have a "resolution". It's always the same every year..I'm going to lose weight. Well I have (slowly) been doing that all year and don't plan on stopping now. I don't smoke.. I rarely drink, so I'm not really sure what I could "resolute" for 2011. WOW....2011. Can you believe that. CRAZY!

Yeah, this was definately a boring post... so I will not continue the torture. Happy New Year to all and be safe. DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE~!

You couldn't pay me enough......

Ya know, there really is no amount of money in the world that would make me want to go back to my teenage years. Don't get me wrong, I had a ball... but the hurt and heartache of being a teenage girl "in love". No thank you! I really hate watching one of my girls just go through crap with a boyfriend. It bothers me that there's nothing I can do about the situation, nothing I can do to make her feel better, nothing I can do to change things. All I can do is just sit back and watch and that drives me insane ( control freak in me ). However, I do explain my views and opinion in a non criticizing way, atleast I try. I try to make her see, from my own experiences, the whole picture. Show her what the outside world sees.  I see SO much of me when I was that age, in her. It's actually very concerning to me because I want her adult  life to start off on a completely different path than mine did. I took the long way around to get to the  place in life where I am today. I want them to go straight to that place and skip all the crap in between. I have no regrets, because everything got me here today, but like I said...I took the long way! I have never hid anything from my girls. They probably know more about my life than they should, but I want them to learn from my mistakes and experiences so they don't make the same. I know they will live and learn. I just wish, the learning part wasn't so painful for them. I try to understand and I try to remember what shes feeling like, but then I get so aggrivated because i know what the outcome will adventually end up being, and I just want to protect her and completely avoid the incidents that will happen between now and then. But, as a mother who DOES remember what it was like to be that age, as hard as it is, I try not to interfear and just let know that I do rememeber and that I am here for her... if she chooses. I guess we all go through the same things.... they don't say "love is blind" for no reason. I just hope, for their sake,as adults that they don't allow love to blind them to the obvious. My girls deserve the world and more ( and I'm not speaking just in a materialistic sense), and if a man can't provide them that...well then, they aren't worthy of my daughter's heart...PERIOD! So my dear, if you are reading this...... pray & dig deep in your soul, you will find the answers. Noone,ever, could love you more than your momma!



untill next time......

“Adolescence is that time when I think, it can be- it's the cruelest place on Earth. It can really be heartless.”

~ Tori Amos

poor poor pitiful me...not really!

  My plate seems to be overflowing with life's CRAP right now! Christmas, Making sure each kid has the same # of Christmas gifts, trying to maintain the bills and still buy all these ridiculously overpriced gifts (cash only!) on an unemployment check's budget, still maintaining the household, the family, the responsibilities of being a wife, mother, adult...and still trying to keep myself healthy and on track with my personal goals (which I have gotten slack with).  It sucks sometimes. Well it sucks alot of times!! I don't know... when the heck did I grow up? I want to be a kid again..no worries, no responsibilities, not having to please everyone, thinking of only myself and my needs and wants. Sounds pretty selfish doesn't it. Some days I just feel like I could turn into a pile of dust on the floor, and the only reason someone would notice I'm not around is because their laundry isn't done, or the food isn't cooked, or there's no clean towels or the dogs haven't been fed or all of the forks are missing, or the tv was cut off because the bill wasn't paid, or the supplies wern't bought for the school project, or....or....or.... And if I was a pile of dust on the floor... I would just sit there, indefinately, in a nice little pile, because I wouldn't be around to sweep myself up. My broom in my house must be covered in anthrax or something, because noone wants to put their hands on it *sigh*.  So I would just sit there, a faceless, voiceless pile of dust getting kicked around and scattered. LOL

But I only have myself to blame... I have spoiled everyone so much by doing everything myself, all of the time. Only because I'm so anal about the way things are done, damn undiagnosed OCD. Can't win for losing in this game I guess. My husband tries, he really does. He's great! He works very hard all day long and I don't expect him to come home and wait on me hand and foot. But dang I have some lazy kids!! Lazy to the point that if I forget to put a fork on their plate..( yes, I STILL fix their plates...someone please shoot me!) they will eat with their fingers to prevent actually having to get up and get their own fork. Think I'm kidding??

Or will sit on the toilet for 2 hours yelling for someone to get them some toilet paper instead of getting it BEFORE they sat down, knowing the bathroom was out. I mean really. Thing is... I think I just get overwhelmed with not only being the parent of 5 kids (4 at home)...all now teenagers basically, and life's everyday stresses, but the stresses of the "additives" we were blessed with in regards to our children. A teenage son with Aspergers (on the autistic spectrum) & Epilepsy , a tween daughter with Bartters Syndrome (born a preemie with a kidney disease), a tween son with severe OCD (I know it could be worse than it is) , sometimes just the medical conditions alone wear me down, doctors, tests, all the medications, dealing with what the illness brings to the child physically, side effects of the medications.. it all gets a little crazy sometimes. And the stresses of  "others" that are in the picture. Oh Lord!!! But you know, at the end of the day..when I lay in bed and the house is quiet, everyone's asleep and I see my gorgeous husband beside me... my whole being smiles from the inside out. I LOVE my crazy, chaotic, beautiful life. I truely do! I don't have a fancy house, I live paycheck to paycheck, I don't wear name brand clothes or get my hair done at a high end salon.... but I DO have something that no amount of money could ever buy... I have the most wonderful husband ever - who deeply loves me and I him , 5 beautiful, good, smart ,children and the love of an amazing family. What more could a girl need? THAT, makes me the richest person in the world! And sometimes,  when life seems to be getting out of control, I have to remind myself of that. And sometimes I even have to remind myself that this is the life I chose.....and I wouldn't want it any other way, and that's the truth!  So just take a minute, when YOU are feeling like a pile of dust...look around at everything that you DO have...and count your blessings. I will take everything I have, over having none of it at all, any day!!!    =)

until next time........

And thank you for a house full of people I love.  Amen.  ~Terri Guillemets

To stink or not to stink---that should be the question

I did some Christmas shopping today, mostly for stocking stuffers. Why is that such a brain teaser for me? I mean really, stocking should consist of candy coal, fake dog poop and a toothbrush..right? I can walk the aisles in the store 2-3 times, looking at each item on the shelves, pick something up, put it back, pick it up , put it back, etc. Now keep in mind I have 5 kids a husband and 2 boyfriend's that I stocking... so this could be an all day project if I didn't keep an eye on the time. OK, I just read that sentence...let me clarify, I don't have 2 boyfriends...it would be the boyfriends of 2 of my daughters, Kayla & Bailee. So anywho... It just baffles me how I let a simple thing like stockings stress me. I'm weird, period.
So as I'm obsessively pondering each item and making that life changing decision to purchase that deodorant as a stocking stuffer or not, I find myself watching other people and what they buy. See, told you I was weird. I have to say, some of the gifts people give , would definately be regifted if given to me. Oh wow, now everyone knows I regift. well, I don't do it often, but yes, I have done it. Probably not to you..but I've done it. And I know someone has regifted to me too. I know this because the gift they gave me for my birthday one year....is the same gift that I gave them for Christmas just a month before. But that opens up a whole 'nother stress box knowing that I had given a "regiftable" gift. Oh well, at least I thought enough of them to even give them something, right.
I'm totally all over the place in this post, but that's ok.... I know you have the intelligence to follow along ;-)
And please tell me...why why WHY don't people care about their appearance & hygeine when they go out in public. OMG, if you smell like a dead sewer rat who rolled around in an ashtray and are wearing clothing that look like they came straight from the dumpster.... please stay away from me. I have a weak stomach and your stench is triggering my gag reflex.  Poor/rich doesn't have to equal DIRTY, really ... it doesn't.  And my God, if you can clearly see that your kid has snot all over his face, PLEASE wipe it..like I said, weak stomach.  ((See, I didn't stereotype. ;-) ))
I don't know, I just have a thing about cleanliness...it does a body good, I promise.
OH... I have an update.. turns out those "jean leggings" that Gabbi had to change out of at school today,that caused me to show my butt in the hallway ...WERN'T EVEN HERS! Unbeknownst to me, the little twit had traded pants with a friend when she got to school, and her friends pants that she was wearing were the inappropriate pants.... The pants Gabbi wore out of my house, were just fine. So yeah, I was a but peeved about that.


until next time.....
Thank you for Not Smoking.  Cigarette smoke is the residue of your pleasure.  It contaminates the air, pollutes my hair and clothes, not to mention my lungs.  This takes place without my consent.  I have a pleasure, also.  I like a beer now and then.  The residue of my pleasure is urine.  Would you be annoyed if I stood on a chair and pissed on your head and your clothes without your consent?  ~Sign from Ken's Magic Shop

Brought to you by the letter P....Pist off.

OK,  I'm on a soapbox today and I feel ranting and raving brewing frantically in my mind. I have been going insane waiting  to get to this computer so I can "vent". SO, on that note, I must warn you... I am not responsible for the words that flow from my fingers for when on my soapbox, I know not what I do. *YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED* >..<    

So to get my day started,  Gabbi calls me from school saying I need to bring her different pants because they aren't allowed to wear jeans (uniform policy) and if I don't bring her some she will not be able to go on the field trip and I will NOT get my $$ back. Ok, first of all.... I dare you to keep my kid from the field trip and not refund my $$. We were in Concord at the courthouse taking care of a ticket 

(( yeah that's another issue with me ))  when she called so I'm trying to get to the school before they leave for the field trip. The whole way there I'm (to my husband) blessing Gabbi out for wearing "jeans" when she knew she wasn't supposed to. I had already made my mind up... she was grounded from the phone tonight for disobeying school rules. Well, I get to school and Gabbi & a teacher meet me in the hall in front of the office. The teacher is all "Oh I'm so sorry but they can't wear jeans, it's in the rule book" OK fine I understand that. But I look at Gabbi's pants...and they are NOT denim. Oh Heck to the no! So I grab Gabbi's leg and say, quite sternly, to the teacher..."THESE are NOT jeans". Then the teacher says "well, they can't wear leggings either, I will go get the book if you like". (( No biotch, I don't need a dang book)) So, I say "THESE are not leggings either...these are skinny pants..there is a difference" All the while having Gabbi's poor leg in my hand as I'm waving her "jeans" around ( sorry honey). I lost that battle, Gabbi had to change...but there is a moral to this story. #1 Don't let the kids wear their regular clothes if you are going to inspect the fabric with a magnifying glass and make them change anyway. Keep the uniform policy for all events at all times. #2 Get with it and learn your fashion & materials LADY so you don't look like a stupid a$$ when a parent comes and literally points out your ignorance. I hope Gabbi is having fun on her field trip, and doesn't forget her "jean leggings" at school!  <3  Sometimes it's great to be ghetto!!

As if that lovely scene wasn't just grand, a little issue we have been having always pinches the most evil nerve I have. Actually it's quite a large issue...I will just say this. Ignorant, spiteful, hypocritical and just plain old dumb people should think twice about pro creating. This world can only handle so many dumb a$$es - so butter my butt & call me a biscuit, but I think it's pretty much at capacity so.... Don't go away mad... just GO AWAY!! (( my mom used to say that all the time )) 

My husband is such a trooper... when something gets to me, or makes me mad, I harp on it FOREVER. He just smiles and nods "yes honey, I know honey". He's the best. But he also knows, as do many people... I don't forgive easily...and i NEVER forget. So if you crossed me 15 years ago...I still remember and I still think about it and I will throw it up in your face, just so you know that I still remember-- chances are that I have forgiven you by now.. or maybe not. Guess you will know that one next time we cross paths. LOL I know the teacher was just doing her job, i KNOW that.... but it still ticks me off because she was wrong and wouldn't fess up to it. And this other "issue" ... well, mamma always told me if I didn't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all...... so my mouth is shut. God knows, and karma is a b*!ch......

Ya know, I have been told numerous times that I can insult you without you even realizing that I just insulted you. (That trait came in very handy at my former place of employment.) Sad thing is...it's not an insult when it's the truth.

Whew, I sure feel better now. Crazy how a little venting can be so therapeutic.

until next time......
Anger ventilated often hurries toward forgiveness; and concealed often hardens into revenge.  ~Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton

This one time, at band camp......

Gabbi's band concert was actually a PTA meeting. Funny how they (the school) don't tell you this until you are already there. B-O-R-I-N-G.  And of course they have their hands in your pockets. Sorry people,  nothing in these pockets except holes!

The little turd "lost" her sheet music so of course she had to fake it the whole way through. Luckily there was only 1 song she didn't know by heart, and of course that was the Christmas song.... next time she has to fake it,  she atleast needs to TRY to move her fingers along with the rest of them  lol ((  I totally remember doing that when I was in band ))  She's flute so of course she was on the front row. It was cute, lots of squeaks , squawks and screetches. After seeing all those kids and all those little girl's... I now know that my daughter is NOT the only one who acts like she acts. Boy do these little girl's flaunt themselves around the boys. You would think, being Gabbi is my 3rd & youngest daughter, that I would be a pro at knowing these things... a mother's naive head I guess. But all in all... of course we were very proud of her.   =) 


until next time...
While we try to teach our children all about life,
Our children teach us what life is all about.
~Angela Schwindt

Holy jiggle butt!

Well I went to zumba tonight even though I was not feeling the best. I'm glad I went though because it's always such a great workout and it makes me feel good...and I have tremendous feelings of guilt if I do not go. So our instructor, Tracey, (( who is flippin' awesome ))  has changed things around a little bit. One routine we do, which is really hard..she now makes us do twice in a row and we do it facing eachother. Now I have alot to jiggle and I get a little weirded out knowing that as hard as I'm jiggling, the chick in front of me is having to lQQk at my boobs bouncing from floor to ceiling and the poor lady behind me has to watch my wide load go everywhere. Not a pretty sight I'm sure. I can't help but to wonder what is going through their minds... do I really want to know? Most likely not. But it's fun, and I love it , it's a good hard workout and it's great to be amongst the women there, even if only for an hour. 

Tomorrow is weigh in...... keep your fingers crossed!

until next time.......

I really don't think I need buns of steel.  I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon.  ~Ellen DeGeneres

Here I go....

So, my sister tells me I should start a blog. She's very smart, so I listened. Shoot, everyone else is doing it, so why not - right? Being I have nothing but time these days, and a head full of this and that, I thought I would give it a shot. Those who know me, know I usually have a lot to say about alot of different things, but never really speak it. So here I WILL speak it - the good,bad and of course ugly!! Consider this your warning, I'm not here to protect your feelings, I'm here to express MINE! If I make you mad, or offend you, build a bridge and GET OVER IT ... or simply quit reading ;-) But really, I can be random at times, and I may even post multiple times a day, I have a strange sense of humor, I'm a bit perverted, and very sarcastic. You will learn about me, my family, my kids, my weight loss experiences, (( yes, im a  FAT hottie!)) my opinions on things
(( I'm sure they will differ to yours)) my likes,dislikes,pet peeves and what I love. So.....I'm ready if you are!!!